Lying
Are you a liar?
What did you instantly think?
"Of course, I always tell the truth!"
Now tell me this, are you a people-pleaser or do you bend the truth to avoid hurting other people’s feelings?
Are you sure you’re not a liar?
Most people struggle with half-truths because they want to avoid the discomfort that follows when telling the truth. I'm referring to telling the truth to both yourself and to other people!
You may think that you can avoid the discomfort by kinda sorta pretending everything is beautiful and lovely.
The desire to be comfortable (aka lying) then becomes a habit, and you begin to believe the stories you tell yourself.
It is still lying though!
Not everything is fantastic and lovely.
And when you pretend it is you will eventually become exhausted!
(Oh, and most likely eating soothing food like a horse!)
This may go on for years and years.
Fake smiling and pretending instead of doing the hard work of being vulnerability, showing compassion, and healing relationships.
You skip the part of looking at yourself and taking responsibility for your role in the play!
You keep pointing your finger at everyone else missing your powerful ability to love unconditionally and erect boundaries.
Telling the truth first to yourself and eventually with kindness to others is the path to well-being.
But how?
How can you move forward with the truth? What about everyone else's feelings? What if they cry and there is a backlash?
This will most likely happen!
You will experience this first with yourself.
It is incredibly uncomfortable to own up to many of the silly lies you tell yourself about what's actually going on with you!
You start with the fact that you really aren't that truthful about telling the truth.
If you are open to this, you will then see all the areas in which you are kinda sorta skirting around issues within yourself.
It’s not super fun to see the truth in yourself but if you don't know, how do you change?
All of your power lies in your ability to see the facts as they really are instead of a pretend situation.
Think about your current state of health. How many of your health issues, if you told the truth, could be helped or eliminated if you had the capability to do so?
Have you been telling yourself that it is out of your control?
I want you to take a few minutes and write down all the reasons you haven't lost the weight or cleaned up your eating.
Now go through this list and see what really isn't true.
The process of becoming someone who doesn't lie will be the exact same as becoming a person who only eats foods that are supportive.
It’s rough!
But, oh so sweet, to live a life of health and well-being!
A lovely thought to end your health suffering is, BRAIN I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW YOU THINK YOU’RE HELPING ME SURVIVE BY CRAVING CRAP, BUT THE ANSWER TO EATING FOODS THAT WRECK MY HEALTH IS NO!
A similar thought to be someone who tells the truth will work as well!
Another lovely thought to end suffering is, I SEE THAT YOU THINK IT WILL BE MORE COMFORTABLE TO FIB, BUT IN THE LONG RUN IT IS WRECKING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE.
This process is incredibly uncomfortable, but I will tell you one thing.
When you choose to stop lying and deal with your life situations that are causing you to lie, you will not be hungry!
You will feel all sorts of emotions, but the cake will not appeal to you when you are having the hard, intense conversations, confrontations, and happenings of actually telling the truth.
Now you might think that this is cruel and not kind-hearted, but I'm not talking about insensitive, brutal, attacks on you or other humans.
I'm talking about truth with compassion!
Remember, when you pretend or lie, how kind is that?
It's not!
When you gain clarity on your truth, now you can look at your relationship with others and how truthful you are with them.
We have all been raised and cultured to believe that we are responsible for other people’s feelings, which is at the root of all this silliness.
If you are responsible for other people’s emotions, you have a very vested interested in manipulating their emotions.
The desire to bend the truth to protect their emotions is intense.
You are not responsible for other people's emotions!
You are only responsible for you!
Before you decide to go on a bender of letting everyone know what they need to change, stop, you aren't doing it right.
You forgot to take responsibility for the fact that you created a relationship with someone who is behaving in a way that needs to be addressed now!
Think about someone you constantly lie or tell half-truths to so they don’t get mad or sad.
Do they get mad or sad anyways?
Like all the time?
Of course, they do! Then you up your game of trying to make them feel better by fibbing and you always fail!
You're not supposed to manage other people's emotional lives.
Your only job is to love them.
How do you love someone?
Is there truth, growth, and guidance in a relationship that is filled with true love?
Or is a relationship with love full of manipulation?
I'm pretty sure manipulation is not a loving action last time I checked.
Yet, lying is a form of manipulation. You are lying to manipulate their feelings.
WHAT?!
You are pretending so that everyone stays happy.
Not only is this lying, but it is also very unauthentic.
No authentic relationship can bloom in pretense.
You cannot have a real relationship if you aren’t honest and being yourself!
Your relationship will then be based on some version of who you are pretending to be,
The act of honesty is excruciating if you have been well versed in other people's business and feelings.
You must first give up the belief that you are responsible for others.
Then you need to move forward with love.
Love for others doesn't always feel amazing.
When you truly love someone, you wouldn't lie to them about driving off a cliff just to protect his or her feelings.
You would tell them, "Hey, you will die if you drive off a cliff. If you won't listen to me, I will take away your keys!"
This will be followed with a meltdown! (You know this feeling when you tell yourself no to foods that are not supportive!)
Your loved one will also feel this way! But are you going to give in?
"Ok, ok, you won't stop crying, fine, here are the keys!"
"I'll miss you when you are dead, but at least you won’t be having a tantrum!"
True love is both beautiful and painful.
Love is often accompanied with hurt or discomfort.
It's supposed to be that way!
Lying to avoid the discomfort not only doesn’t work, but it also creates a big mess, with you and other people!
Knock the lying off and start loving!