The top 5 negative emotions that I believe have the most damaging effects on our lives are some of my favorite negative emotions to talk about because they can be so sneaky and incredibly harmful. 

1. Fear

Fear is what some people might refer to as stress. It is a constant part of most people’s lives. Fear or stress hides behind the feelings of insecurity. For example, you start to second guess your parenting style or feel insecure about your body. Fear can be very paralyzing if you are afraid to address the issues in your life. It’s easier to hide behind bad habits rather than look at what you have going on in your life. It’s easier to talk about food instead of going after your dreams, losing weight or working on your marriage. 

Fear also creeps up and tells you that people are judging you.  It feels scary to feel vulnerable. It's not easy to state that what you really want is more love, peace, and authenticity. It is hard to show up as yourself and face rejection. It is easier to hide and pretend to be the person who you think everyone else wants you to be. 

 2. Entitlement

This is something that I think is so important to talk about because it is so sneaky. It's a massive block to achieving goals. It rears its ugly head and it seems like it’s normal to feel this way. Entitlement is completely unproductive. You start these sentences with "I should, or I shouldn’t” or “she/he should/shouldn’t”. You can literally fill in the blank with anything after those words. 

Nowhere in the entire world is a guarantee of health, well-behaved kids, perfect spouse, money, or two legs. When things don’t go as we think they should, we get all out of whack! As soon as you realize that there is no guarantee in life , you shift your expectations and feelings of entitlement. In fact, it brings appreciation and thankfulness almost immediately. It also gives you all of your power back to make the most of what you have been dealt or blessed with.  There are so many examples of people in this world who have been dealt horrific circumstances. However, they take their situation, live a beautiful life anyway, and give back!

Take a good look at the blessings in your life and also at the things in your life that are less than desirable. If you drop your entitlement, how would you live your life differently?

3. Self-pity

When most people first really start learning about this emotion, they automatically think it doesn’t apply to them until they read the definition. Self-pity is excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles. It is full of attention seeking, self-absorbed behavior. Think about how this applies to you in your life. It comes from a victim mentality and thinking that life should be different than it is. When you are in victim mentality, you take zero responsibility to change what is changeable. You feel sorry for yourself and take no action to improve the areas of your life that can certainly be changed. It creates an unwillingness to even look at the possibilities around you. It is a trap, which leads right into the next emotion below.

4. Blame

It is so much easier to start blaming anyone and everything, instead of looking in the mirror.  If you are indulging in entitlement and self-pity, then why wouldn’t the next logical step be to start picking apart all the people and circumstances in your own life? 

First, you cannot control other people. You can make your life and their life miserable, but you cannot control them. Second, when you try to change circumstances without really understanding why you want to change them, you will quickly find yourself in the next set of circumstances!

5. Apathy

This happens when you are on the path to a goal and suddenly go unconscious. It feels like relief in the moment, but when in reality it is checking out. You may be working on your journaling and suddenly you start to have thoughts of: "Screw it, I don’t really care" or " Who really cares about my weight".  This is complete neglect. I love the saying that the opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference. Putting on the emotion of apathy is what often happens when you get to the hard parts of your journey!

One thing you will learn from my coaching program is that when you are unhappy, and you turn to apathy, it leads to depression. Often, we will have apathy for things we believe we cannot change. The key word in that last sentence is believe. I want you to watch for this when things feel difficult.