Often we try something for a little bit, notice it's hard, quit, then search for something new.

I see this happen all the time, and I've fallen prey to it too.

I look for better experts, or better tools to fix my problems.

But then forget the tool, and go back to what wasn’t working.

Why do we do this?

Because learning something is different than applying, and applying is different than integrating.

So many of us KNOW something, and even attempt to apply it. But we don’t integrate it into our lives.

Learning something takes about a week to a few months. And we usually “apply” this tool in that time frame.

Then it gets hard, and we move on to the next one.

Integration is staying with that tool until it’s a subconscious habit. This can take a minimum of 2-3 years. Usually, 5-10 to embody it.

I know. Probably not what you wanted to hear.

There are no quick fixes.

I give you permission to stop looking for a new system or tool to fix your problem. Go back to integrating.

I’ll use weight as an example here.

The journey of losing weight and changing your eating habits looks something like this.

The first year it’s full of firsts. The withdrawal of processed food, and all the drama of switching to fuel eating from pleasure/emotional eating. You also have a high of feeling great, and living comfortably in your body.

The second-year you experience everything with a memory of how it went the first year. This is easier because you have experience. And with experience, you can learn and grow. (Now, this is only for people who successfully move away from emotional eating. Otherwise, you are just cycling in diet mentality. The food indulging/food restriction pattern.) In the third year, all of this is second nature. The fourth year, someone dies, you get cancer or a setback occurs. You may waver but return to the habit. Now you've integrated!

This whole time you are shifting your mindset. Not using willpower and self-flagellation. You must learn to think differently and learn to embrace emotional discomfort.

I’m not against any systems, but if they don’t teach you how to shift into being naturally thin, or whatever you want to change, AND embrace emotional discomfort, then you're wasting your time and money.

If you already have a system that feels right and you just haven’t integrated, go back to that.

If you need a system that actually teaches what I said above. Reply to this email and let’s get coaching.